He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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