You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
