Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You pole danced in your parka.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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