Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
