i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize