its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
