I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
