just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
