You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
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He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
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So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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