You're completely useless in the revolution.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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