You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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