its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
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