laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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