The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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