i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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