Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
