i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize