Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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