Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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