Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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