Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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