So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
