so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
