"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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