I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
