Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
