every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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