I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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