Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
