You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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