What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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