i barfeds in our rink
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
