I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
