Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
