Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
