the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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