Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
