I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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