and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Randomize
