i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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