Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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