If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
