this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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