thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
