yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
