He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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