please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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