the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
