And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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