so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
