If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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