I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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