I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
