He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
