i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
