What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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