i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
