then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
