Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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