You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
