He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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