guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
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