Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
