I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We're too hungover to prance.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
