Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
